Actor. Writer. Horse Racing Fanatic.

Respectful Request to Casting Directors

2010-04-10T10:33:00.000-07:00

Recently I attended an audition where several roles were being cast in one day. The session was running behind, but not horrifically so (I've been at far worse, believe me). Actors were going in, coming out, one, with the blessings of the other auditioners, was allowed to jump ahead in line so he could make another engagement, etc. Usual stuff. Then, it happened: I, and one other woman (auditioning for the same role) were told, at the last minute, to come in together.

Dear casting directors- look, in the ongoing war between actors and casting directors over who is worse at auditions, no question, it's actors. We're fucking nuts; believe me, I know. We do all sorts of things no one should ever do at a "real" job interview. We show up late; we show up unprepared, we don't listen to the instructions you have just repeated for the one hundredth time and ask, "What? What I am supposed to do?" We're rude; we ask dumb questions; we say and do stupid things in an attempt to make you like us, really like us. We generally are annoying and were this a job involving desks and computers and benefits we'd not only not get the job; you'd be calling security to remove us from your office. I really do understand that. Because those of us who aren't crazy find the crazy ones just as infuriating as you do, and we just have to sit in the waiting area with them; we don't have to audition them.

But here's the thing- for all that a lot of us clearly don't understand that an audition is a job interview, it's still a job interview and that means both the interviewer and the interviewee are supposed to follow certain time-honored rules of interviewing and just because one side is acting like a retarded cart horse doesn't mean the other side gets to chuck out those rules. Sometimes you gotta take the high road.

And the high road means never making actors who are auditioning for the same part audition together. One thing I hear over and over from casting directors is that they want actors to do their best; it makes the casting director's job easier. I agree; we all want the actor to do his or her best. Listen to me- making me come in and watch a person who is up for the same role I am, and then making me audition in front of that person is a great way to insure I will not do my best. You are hamstringing me and the other actor before we even get to slate our names. I don't hate the other actor; she's probably a lovely human being and I've likely just had a nice conversation with her in the hall. But we're still competing against each other, and while it's an actor's job to forget the competition when in the room, that's a lot harder to do when the competition is right there.

Can you imagine going in for a "real" job interview and having to sit and listen to the other candidates answer the exact same questions you're asked? Who besides finalists for Miss America is expected to do that? If I wanted to watch all the other people I was up against perform right before me I'd have taken up ice skating.

And I understand how exhausting casting sessions are. I do. I understand that you're exhausted because you had a complete freakazoid in the room 30 minutes ago who kept asking if he could do it over. Or because the producer couldn't be bothered to show up for the first two hours but wouldn't let you start until he or she got there. And I understand that sometimes you've already cast the role and these auditions are purely because the actors were called in before the role was cast. And I understand that you've had to do this for six hours already and have another three days of it. And I understand that the role's needs may have completely changed and instead of a Caucasian woman in her 30s it's now a Asian man in his 70s. And I understand it's a crap job that you're not getting paid much for, either. And I'm telling you I don't care. You have called me in for a job audition and I have taken the time to show up. I memorized the sides if there were any, I took the time off from my survival job, I made sure I brought a headshot and resumé, neatly stapled in all four corners and trimmed, and I styled my hair and did my makeup so I look like the person in that headshot. I did my best to make sure I will give you the best audition possible. I earned the right to be given the best audition opportunity possible. And that means the audition process needs to flow the way we all expect. I get there, I sign in, I get instructions, I wait, maybe I wait a long time but that's part of the process, and then my name gets called and I go in and do my thing. Without suddenly being confronted with watching someone else doing the same thing I'm about to do, or having to do that thing in front of someone who is about to do it also. Because it's nerve-wracking and it brings up all kinds of insecure or maniacally competitive feelings or just in some way breaks my concentration. It throws me off my game, for no good reason other than you feel at that moment it's more convenient for you. And that's not fair.

The audition is my time. If I go into an audition and I suck, you get the last laugh; you never call me in again for anything ever. And if I've been given every opportunity to do well and I suck, then that's fair. But to shoot me in the foot before I go in, and then be annoyed that I couldn't dance because there's a bullet in my big toe- well, that's not fair and it's not right and it's not nice and it's not professional. And just because every other actor you've dealt with so far has been given every chance and was still a total nutjob doesn't mean that I'm going to be.

Because I'm a good actor, but I blew chunks in that audition. I was thrown off my game and unable to focus. And yet, as annoyed as I was, and as frustrated as I was at what was a waste of an audition, I was still polite. I tried the best I could under the circumstances, even though I was hyperaware of my competition sitting next to me the whole time I was performing. I still thanked the casting director when I left. Because I'm a professional and I take the high road. Please, as much as actors can be pains in the asses, please do the same for us. Let us retarded cart horses pull the cart on our own, do not jam us into a double harness at the last minute.

Thank you very much for your time.

Weekend Passions

2010-03-07T13:36:00.000-08:00

Very nice Saturday- called in to audition for a pilot, which was great balm for not being able to attend the Gotham Stakes at Aqueduct. I don't think I was what they were looking for, but I felt good about what I did and felt that I took control of the audition- asking to redo a take because I knew I stumbled in the middle section. I know actors get told not to restart an audition, and I think that's very true for monologues, but less so for film and television, where the audition is being recorded anyway. These days it's all digital and it's so easy to redo the take; why not try to leave with your best one?

On the racing front, I'm highly annoyed that the potential Kentucky Derby field is still such a mess. I have no idea. None. Thinking there won't be any fillies this year, though, with Blind Luck's 2nd place finish yesterday in the Santa Anita Oaks.

Oh, okay- I'm still kinda on Dublin's bandwagon. I have a soft spot for the Afleet Alex's, what can I say?

Time and Tide Melts the Snowman (or the submission)

2010-01-26T15:01:00.000-08:00

Note to self- tinker with your Actors Access photos only after 7PM. As it could just happen that your beloved manager might just be submitting you for something on Law & Order at the exact moment you take down the photo she wants to use to submit you.

Not that anything like that just happened to me or anything. I am seriously punching myself in the face right now.

New Headshots!

2010-01-24T15:50:00.000-08:00

Finally, the new headshots are in hard copy and in my hands. I think the reason actors put off headshots is not just the despair of seeing in 8X10 full color (formerly black-and-white) that you're getting older. I think it's as much that it's such a long process. I've had relationships that took less time than getting new pictures. I've been blessed with terrific headshot artists throughout my career (well, except for my first ones, but the less said about them the better. Nothing like going into an audition and having the casting director say, "Oh. I thought you'd be fat.") but every time I've had to move to an new photographer it's caused great anxiety. Headshots are expensive as all get-out, by the time the session, the makeup, the test prints, the retouching, the printing, the uploading to Actors Access, etc. are all done, and if you're not happy... well, again, it's like a relationship. In this case, one you know isn't working, but you're already living with the person and so you have to accept that to get out, you'll have to give up your half of the security deposit and start all over.

That said, this time was again a lovely experience (my 2nd) with the fantastic Chia Messina, and the very talented Jody Formica did my makeup. And when it all goes well, new headshots are like your birthday come early. Your birthday back when it was still the most awesome, you-centered day EVER and not an occasion for a "what the heck am I doing with my life" panic attack. Right now, I feel just like I did when I turned 10 and got just what I wanted, the Breyer model of Yellow Mount, Famous Paint. Looking forward to the next few years of this relationship.

Audition tomorrow. Take Control off Derby trail

2010-01-20T18:18:00.000-08:00

Audition tomorrow for a short film- I always get a pit in my stomach when I first start memorizing lines. It's because my brain starts creaking, objecting that this sort of rote learning really was supposed to end with the high school diploma, and I start thinking, "I'll never memorize all of this!" And then somewhere, somehow, the words get into the brain; the logic of the script makes itself clear and I remember that I'm actually really good at memorizing.

So yeah, I'd better stop procrastinating and get back to it.

Take Control is off the Kentucky Derby trail with minor shin issues. He'll be back in the summer, but, in the meantime, I have to find a new horse to find interesting.

Very First Post

2010-01-17T09:31:00.001-08:00

My marvelous husband, Todd Faulkner, has just designed my new website and insists I add a blog section to keep people updated on my acting and writing career, as well as have a place to talk about my favorite obsession, Thoroughbred horse racing.

I suspect the real reason for this is so maybe, if I blog enough about racing, I won't talk his ear off about it so much. I'm on to you, Faulkner...

Latest creative news: My comedic pilot, Living in Captivity, has been taken on by Hayden5 Media.

Latest racing news: Supermare Zenyatta, retired after her history-making victory in the Breeders' Cup Classic has been unretired and will return to racing this year. If you're a racing fan, this is like Christmas in January.

Kentucky Derby 2010 predictions: Way too early to tell yet. But I'm interested to see what Take Control does in his three-year old debut.